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HAPPY TO WORK WITH

INDIVIDUALS

COUPLES

MORESOMES

MY COACHING PHILOSOPHY

Just like every relationship is unique in its definition and parameters, so too for a coaching relationship. My first encounter with the standard therapeutic model in couples therapy many years ago left me cold with the strict 50 minute session and the inevitable "our time is up" ending. 

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This stuff can get intense, and sometimes we may be on a deep dive right at the 50 minute mark. Just like in scuba diving, you don't want to come up too fast. So I believe in flexibility. We can aim for an hour long session, but the logical and emotional endpoint may happen at 50 minutes, or maybe at 90 minutes. So I will always leave at least a full half hour between sessions to give us flexibility. 

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Speaking of therapy, it's important to note this is NOT therapy. What we do can work well in conjunction with ongoing therapy. But here we are focused on practical and actionable guidance on moving forward in your ENM exploration. Yes, we may look at patterns and pitfalls from the past, and we may use the work from therapy as a springboard to mutually chart a healthy path forward. But I am not your therapist, I am not qualified to be your therapist, and I'm certinly happy if you also happen to be working with one.

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The goal in our coaching sessions will not necessarily be opening your relationship the way I have opened mine. It will be charting a path that is right for you. It may become evident that an open relationship may not be right for you at all, or may not be right at this time. 

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Finally, there are really infinite forms a relationship can take, be it straight, gay, queer or something else entirely. And of course there's monogamous, monogamish, don't-ask-dont-tell, swinging, polyfedelity, polyamorous, solo-poly, hierarchical poly, and relationship anarchy just to name a few. Some of these you may not even be familiar with. That's ok. They're all possibilities in the rainbow of relationships. I will not be advocating for one over the other, but rather helping you sort out what makes sense for you! Remember, when we talk it's all about you. 

INCORPORATING AUTHENTICITY

Not only will I be focused on guiding you to grow with authenticity as the guardrails in your relationships, I aim to offer it to you as a coach.  I will not offer you generic caned responses, no 5 things your partner needs to hear now, or 10 steps to infinite poly love.  What I say to you will grow organically from our conversations and the specific challenges you are dealing with. I will speak honestly and truthfully, even when it may not be what you or your partner may want to hear. 

 

I may at times draw off my personal experiences in practicing ENM, but only as anecdotes and examples. What makes sense for me and my relationships may not be right for you and yours. We must always remember to allow each relationship to express itself uniquely. But we will be in a space where all questions are on the table, and no topic will be off limits or too private for me. I will practice what I preach in doing my best to create an open and honest channel in our communication.

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NUTS AND BOLTS

  • Our half hour intro call is free. Let's get to know each other before making the plunge.

  • There's no need to adhere to a strict 50 minutes. I'm happy to aim for hour long sessions, but you are free to request half hour or even two hour sessions if you like, and will adjust the fee of $100/hour accordingly.

  • The session fee is the same for individuals, couples or moresomes.

  • Sessions are normally remote video, or just audio if you really prefer that. If you're in New York City, we can also meet in person. Session frequency is up to you. Weekly is typical and I generally recommend that as it fits neatly into the usual rhythm of our lives, but I am happy to be flexible.

  • I will be available between sessions for emergency texts, emails, or calls within reason. 

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